The lesson this week is probably one of the most important ones. When doing self-growth work of any kind, there is the danger of becoming addicted to the "becoming" process itself. You can love yourself where you are at and see the need for improvement at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive. Striving to be a better person or to be the best version of yourself that you can be is healthy. Not loving yourself until you reach those goals is clearly not.
Love is an Action
The task this week is to find a way to express love for yourself and to appreciate the progress you have made. This doesn't mean go out and spend a ton of money "treating" yourself to something. Too often our culture associates love with material objects and presents. You can reward yourself without spending money.
Parents often spend time coordinating play dates for their kids. What would it look like if you did that for yourself? Parents need play dates, too. Busy people can let their houses descend into mounds of dishes, piles of laundry, and clutter on every surface. Sometimes a self-reward is actually dedicating real time to accomplish all the at-home cleaning projects that have started to pile up. How good would you feel coming home to an organized and clean house?
Your gift to yourself may not look like anyone else's gift
A reward or gift to yourself means different things to different people. I have many friends who sew and knit. Their self-reward is often spending at least one evening in front of the TV with a ball of yarn. I have a special love for an old married couple that, once a month, their self-reward was to go out together to a new restaurant and have that time together as a couple. Yes, your self-reward can be shared with another person's.
My own gift to myself is to block off one evening each week on my calendar to just be by myself, have a drink, and watch British murder mysteries on the TV. Whodunits just make me happy. There is no practical purpose other than to just enjoy something and be present in the moment.
Use the space below to list 5 things that would be a welcome gift that you can easily give to yourself:
How often should I do this?
If once a week is too often, try for once each month. Take the time to plan your gifts to yourself and put them in your calendar. Don't be afraid to not accept plans with other people during the time you've scheduled for yourself. The time you give yourself is just as important as the time you give to other people.
Making this part of your weekly or monthly routine helps. Dedicate the same day each week or the same day each month to make it easier . Every Monday, every third Wednesday, always on the 15th, etc. You get the idea. Pick a routine time or day though. Don't just rely on "fitting it in" when you think about it. Once this becomes, a play it by ear activity, it can quickly fall by the wayside.
Schedule your time for you. Be willing to dedicate space for yourself.
Sundays – Practice Skills and Activities
Daily skill practices and further information to help you grow in your meditation practice or increase your emotional intelligence skills.
My Writing and Other Resources for Students
A growing collection of writing and other resources for students to use to continue their growth.