He looked at me with that stare that said he was clearly questioning whether or not I could do the task he had just asked me to do. He paused and then said, “So, walk me through how you plan on doing this one.” I walked him through it, he added a few things, and I was off to the races to get things done. This interaction could have gone the way of micromanagement very easily but it didn’t. With adults, and I would argue even with children, we have to respect people’s prior knowledge. Assuming people already know upfront what they need to do and how to do it is the most respectful way to go. We can certainly ask to be sure but asking first wins us the respect that simply telling does not.
Summer is rapidly approaching and many of us remember back to our summer reading lists. Why not embrace that idea again as an adult? Check out some newer titles and some of the more established staples in the mindfulness and emotional intelligence world to keep your knowledge and abilities growing during the summer months.
A mentor-mentee relationship should be one where both parties personally select the other. In an age where companies are creating formal mentorship programs and assigning people to each other, we should be extra wary. Not all people who want to be mentors actually should be mentors and, if you are an aspiring mentee you should be aware of how to evaluate that the relationship with your mentor is a healthy or even beneficial one.
"I'm just not getting the work from him and he's constantly making excuses," started the complaint. "I can't make him do it. I'm not his boss."
Many of us have been in this same situation in the modern work force. We have all kinds of dotted lines going here, there, and everywhere and the people we need work from to complete our projects are frequently our peers -- not our direct reports. How can we hold our peers accountable without coming down on them, coming across as trying to be their boss, or souring the relationship? We have no teeth with the dotted line structure and it takes a different way of thinking to accomplish our goals.
My Writing and Other Resources for Students
A growing collection of writing and other resources for students to use to continue their growth.