Ghost Conflict (n.) - When your current argument isn't really your current argument but rather is a replaying of an old script from past conflicts in your childhood or past relationships in general. A ghost conflict plays out angry word for angry word, tone for tone, volume for volume, and posture for posture as the conflict you experienced in the past.
So far you've noticed the difference between the event itself and the meaning you give it, looked at how many of your beliefs are formed, and then examined how your beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. This week is about how to tell if your beliefs are healthy or helpful. And for that, we need to introduce two important concepts: Explanatory Style and Cognitive Biases and Distortions. Title: An Experiment in Gratitude, The Science of Happiness
Publication Date: 2013 Selection Reason: What if you told the people who've positively impacted you the most, what their influence has meant to you? Below is the fun experiment that shows what simply practicing gratitude can mean to your happiness. “He told me not to worry about it,” began the conversation with a recently let go friend. “I just don’t understand what happened. He said it wasn’t a big deal.” The more my friend talked, the more I winced. It was clear what had happened. His boss had actually been honest when giving the corrective feedback conversation. The problem was the supervisor immediately minimized the conversation they had just undergone. What he had done was indeed a “big deal” and he should have worried about it enough to make sure it never happened again. Taken from a David Wilcox song, Broken Cup Syndrome has to do with where you find your own sense of security and self-love. You have a cup inside you that is constantly being filled up through your own as well as others’ validation. This affects your self-esteem and self-worth. The trouble is that the cup has a leak. There is no one-time fill-up. You require a steady flow to keep the emotional water filling the cup. That validation comes from both yourself and from other people. Or, to quote my more religious students, every day you have to go to the well. So far in examining your thoughts you've seen how your interpretations of what happens to you are separate from the events themselves. You've also delved a little into seeing how some of your beliefs about how the how world works are created. This week, it's time to look at how those stories and beliefs affect you and how they influence what you create and even what you filter out as you see the world around you.
Title: Loving Yourself
Featured: Louise Hay Publication Date: 2007 Selection Reason: Louise Hay talks about what it means to really love yourself. The first step is often to turn off all criticism -- both of yourself and of other people. Your first experience or exposure to a person, topic of study, or subject creates a first impression. This initial decision will then often disproportionally shape your ideas about that person or subject going forward. When new information comes in that contradicts this primary opinion it is often not even noticed or it is ignored in favor of only seeing information that supports the first appraisal. One the most common challenges in teaching classes of any kind is being faced with a group of students who can differ greatly in their background knowledge and ability level. The natural tendency when this happens is to teach to the middle of the class – which can leave your more advanced students feeling bored and your struggling students feeling overwhelmed on occasion. If you build scaffolding and extension activities into your lesson plan you can keep your higher level students engaged and prevent your lower level students from becoming overwhelmed. It’s a lot more prep work when planning a class or workshop but it’s worth it to take the extra time going in. Today’s “Just for Inspiration” is the freedom-giving idea of taking a social media break. Often times, Facebook and other forms of social media can be used as a form of numbing. If your online life is taking you away from the present moment or you find yourself still checking social media even when you are with the people you follow on social media, then you may want to take some time off just to re-engage your non-online world. |
My Writing and Other Resources for StudentsA growing collection of writing and other resources for students to use to continue their growth.
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